Dark Paradise
by themysticqueen
Summary: AU/AH "It didn't take long for me to start second guessing that meaningless ring that rested on my finger. That's what he did to me.He made me want to pull my hair out when I was with him and make me feel as if I was drowning when we were apart."
1. Chapter 1

Some say that everything happens for a reason. This is something, I also believe in. I didn't plan on any of this happening. Three years ago I was a sophomore in college, studying to become a pediatrician. I had all of my priorities laid out. I had a stable side job to save up for medical school after my four years at North Eastern. I was maintaining a 4.0 GPA and had achieved my usual ranking on the Dean's List. I had a great group of friends that understood me and cared more about other things than just partying and sex. I remember feeling a sense of independence back then, I didn't know very much obviously. Sure, I thought I did. I thought that having good grades and goals were enough to know about the real world. I was just a young foolish girl.

When I think back to those days where I still worked at the bar near Fenway, I think how simple my life was. Of course, at the time I thought I was super woman. Balancing my grades, friends, and job all at the same time. I also was madly in love with Matt Donoven. It's hard to imagine the feelings I felt for him. At the time, I was convinced he was my soul mate. We had met at a mutual friend's Christmas party and when I saw his baby blue eyes, I was hooked. I thought I knew what love was, we both did. I thought that sex and promises of love were the only things that were important in love. I didn't know the half of it.

Perhaps, if I had stuck with Benjamin my life would have been much simpler. He wasn't from a wealthy family, but we could've supported ourselves fine. We didn't have to live on Champaign and endless charades of fake gestures and smiles. We could've had children and small house with a picket fence.

But deep down, I never wanted that. Maybe at the time I would've agreed to any kind of future with him. But that was before everything. Those blissful 2 months of lust and first love are memories that I will look back fondly of. But the love we shared wasn't nearly as passionate or consuming as _ours_ was. It didn't even come close.

I don't even know where to begin, how to describe the moment I first met him. It's as if I'm looking back on a past life I had, it's hard to believe I had someone before him. He was like no other. I will never forget the first day our eyes met. Brown on Blue. Maybe even back then I knew that he was going to be something special for me. But he was so much more.

_It was a Thursday evening in October. The Patriots had just won a game against one of their rivalry teams. Needless to say the crowds were rowdy. It was packed that night. Elena would roll my eyes internally every time my eyes would reach the clock. The minutes felt like hours as she simply existed in this stuffy bar. The room smelt of heavy liquor and cheap cigarettes. Her stomach would turn with every inhale. _

_ So maybe she didn't live a dream life, it didn't bother her most of the time. But for some particular reason, it was really getting on her nerves tonight. Every face in the room, she wanted to shout at. Why couldn't they just leave already? The game had ended ages ago._

_Elena's eyes traveled the room in silent judgment of the low lives that were still there. She was a haughty little thing at the age of twenty-one. She didn't grow up with a silver spoon in her mouth. More like a one bedroom apartment on the crappy side of Dorchester. She grew up with a single mom, who blamed her non-existent father for the life style they had to endure. When in all actuality, Elena blamed her for it. Her mother was one of those ladies that expected things in life to just be handed to her. She didn't realize that actual work had to be put in to live a functional life style. Elena had to give her some credit where it was given. She scrapped together enough money to pay her way through college, although most of it was due to Elena's scholarships and generous financial aid. It was really Elena who busted her ass to get where she was. Oh and where was she? In a smoky bar room filled with incoherent, middle-aged drunks._

_She ran a hand through my long, silky chestnut hair. Her eyes shifted down cast and surveyed her outfit, fighting the urge to rip it off an burn it. Elena was in a body-con, black dress that fit her snugly in all the right places. She ditched her white leather jacket, for it was starting to get humid in the small bar anyway. She even had to wear high heals. In a bar! Elena remembered the massive rant she composed when she first started working there, the thought of being on her feet for more than five hours, in heels. It was almost unthinkable for her at the time. But soon enough Elena had gotten used to it, plus Matt seemed to like her work wardrobe better than her regular one. _

_The bar for some odd reason thought that women dressing in provaocative clothes would attract customers. This worked about a quarter precent of the itme, every one knew why these people came to this bar, to get drunk fast and for cheap. _

_Her silver ring got caught in one of her silky strands and she scowled in discomfort. She brought her hand down and studied the ring. Wasn't she supposed to feel something looking at this? Why couldn't she feel the same way she did when Matt gave it to her? _

_Because it's only temporary, until you get the real thing._

_She quickly scrunched her eyes and shook her hands as if the ring would disappear. Her twenty-first birthday present was beginning to feel more like a padlock than a promise ring. She remembered her stomach filling up with tiny butterflies when Matt showed her the small piece of jewelry. A sense of relief and pleasure washed through her as he explained the sentiment behind the gift. She was genuinely touched all up until he mentioned, "soon you'll have diamond on that finger". _

_That sentence had been haunting her every time she gazed down at her ring finger. It wasn't Matt who was the problem; it was the idea in general. Elena enjoyed the relationship they had now; She liked being envied by other couples. She didn't want to put a label on it just yet. She was comfortable in her role as a girlfriend. She didn't want to start her obligations as a wife. The word marriage itself sent a shudder up her spine. She couldn't even talk about her dilemma with anyone, not even her best friend Caroline. God knows she'd work herself up like a little alarm clock with possible table setting ideas. She wouldn't have the heart to tell her that she didn't actually want to get to married. By then Caroline would be in hysterics and pestering her about being "too picky". Elena never thought that being too picky was a bad thing. She would rather have extremely high standards than settle for someone she didn't really want. _

_Except with Matt, she didn't feel like my standards were being lowered. He was good looking of course and had the means to support her comfortably. He made her feel special and at the time she thought that was enough for me. _

_Her eyes traveled over to the clock again and inwardly growled. It was half past eleven and the bar still hadn't seemed like it was in any hurry of slowing down. She was supposed to have gotten off at nine but her boss begged her to stay later. Her young feminine mind was displeased because she had plans with Matt later. She had to disappoint him, again. They hadn't seen each other all week and the stress of mid terms had been taking its toll out on both of them. He attended Simmons and their studying schedules never matched up. He would invite her out to countless of restaurants that she knew must have cost him a lot, just for reservations. She knew money was tight for him, so it made her immature heart break at the thought of him wasting more money on her. He would brush it off, but she would lose sleep on how much he was willing to give. Then again, Matt wasn't as nearly as sacrificing as he was. _

It's funny to think that my biggest problem at the time was missing a date with my precious boyfriend. Looking back on that autumn evening made me feel almost nostalgic for the juvenile devotion that I had once possessed. What a joke that was. It didn't take long for me to start second guessing that meaningless ring that rested on my finger. It took even a shorter time to ditch my sorry school boy romance. That's what _he_ did to me. Knowing him put a lot of things into perspective from then on.

I had no idea who'd I meet that night. Part of me wishes that I could've walked out up until the moment we met. I could've said to hell with my boss and be on my merry way with my vanilla relationship and equally vanilla boyfriend. I would've never met the man that put an end to any hope of having another relationship. The man that destroyed me from the inside out and yet gave me enough confidence to call him out. The only man that made me want to pull my hair out when I was with him and make me feel as if I was drowning when we were apart.

_"Sir, could you please not smoke in here, we have a policy!" The petite brunette squeaked. She wasn't very good at asserting authority, it made the gentleman smoking chortle. Not knowing what else to say, the blushing young girl hurried back behind the bar._

_ She ran her dainty hand through her smooth mahogany locks. This was the last thing she wanted to be doing at the moment. Having to practically babysit a bunch of full-grown men in their mid-thirties who were shouting like fools. _

_ " Hey sweetie, how you feeling tonight?" a scruffy man questioned. She gulped and put on a fake smile. Better to kill them with kindness, she thought._

_ "I'm fine thanks. Can I get you anything?" She asked in a casual tone. _

_ "Oh I think you know what I want." He licked his lips and ogled the soft curves of her body. Her face distorted into an unfriendly expression of disgust._

_ "I'm not on the menu sir, I'm afraid you either order a drink before I get my boyfriend to knock your lights out" She retorted in the most confident tone she could muster. The man scoffed as if her rejection was unthinkable. _

_ "Ah, I see your one of those stuck up Boston bitches. I should've known." He sneered as he stumbled away. She rolled her large chocolate eyes and continued to study her watch. It wasn't even close to midnight and it felt like 4 a.m. The shouting was starting to give her a migraine and she moaned at loud._

"_Well I can't blame him for trying" A sensual voice bellowed out. She didn't look up but she knew that the recipient was probably very masculine. Just from the sound of his smooth, alluring voice made her paint a picture in her mind. She almost didn't want to raise her head, in fear that his face would disappoint the illusion she was creating. When she finally realized how ridiculous she was being, she rose her head up. She gasped out loud and quickly blushed at her uncouth reaction. _

_ This man surpassed any expectation she could've compiled in her head. It was if he wasn't real, some sort of fallen angel that tumble off a dark cloud. He had hair as dark as midnight and it was tousled gracefully a top his head. It wouldn't be classified as messy, more like artistically draped across his pale forehead. His skin was alabaster and completely free of any sort of blemish or mark. His cheek bones were pronounced and as rosy as the skin her face was probably now turning. His lips were one of favorite features she noticed. They were parted in a sensual form and were a beautiful color of sunset. She couldn't help but notice how smooth they appeared and how much she wanted to test out her assumption. But her favorite feature, would probably have to be his eyes. They were nothing short of breath taking. The color of the cerulean ocean didn't seem to justify the unique quality they possessed. Not only was the color stunning, it was the emotions that she could see swimming in them. At a glance you would think he was just trying to seduce her by the way he was looking at her. But Elena knew that these eyes held something much more. She could see his brooding stare but also discover the pain they held. _

_ He held her gaze for a few moments longer before, extending his hand out to hers. She looked at it with mild curiosity and he furrowed his perfect, darkened eye brows. _

_ "May I get your name beauty?" The beautiful man asked with genuine curiosity. _

_ Elena scoffed and rolled her eyes. She did a quick shake of the head and grabbed her tray of cold beers and excused herself. As she ventured past him, she could hear the soft snicker of his laugh at her reaction. _

_ Elena gave the drinks to the ever-so eager men and stomped her way back to the bar, only to be welcomed back with the stranger's bright blue eyes. Wow. She really had to get used to that. She rolled her eyes and gently pushed him out of the way._

_ "What does a guy have to do around here to get your attention?" He asked with a cocky smirk._

_ "Go away for one thing. You think I don't know guys like you?" Elena retorted._

_ Beautiful stranger raised one of his eyebrows with amusement and gestured her to carry on. _

_ "Your one of those guys who waltzes into these bars for an easy lay and cheap drink. You see someone like me and automatically assume that I will surrender to your every pleasure, but I'll have you know sir that those kinds of girls aren't around here." Elena falters slightly._

_ "Well some of them are. But I'm not one of them. So you can get your cocky little smirk and that weird eye thing you do and high tail it out of here pretty boy. Because guess what? You just got rejected; bet you never hear those words huh?" She questioned with a smirk._

_ Instead of the look of mortification Elena expected to see splashed across his face, it was a mixture of amusement and surprise. He started to laugh and Elena scowled at his reaction. He started waving his hands at her, in attempts to calm her down but it was too late. Elena marched away but he grabbed on to her arm._

_ "Angel if you think I'm letting you go that easily then you obviously haven't met me." He said with a condescending tone in his silky voice. _

_ "Oh shut up, who do you think you are? One of those guys who like a challenge?" She said with a sarcastic tone of voice that made him laugh. _

_ "No. I just like you."_

_ "But you don't know me?" Elena said with hesitance._

_ "Yet. I would love to get to know you, but this one really attractive waitress is a stubborn kitten and won't let me buy her a drink." Damon remarked drly._

_ Elena raised her eyebrow and this action caused Damon to laugh once more. Jesus, why did this man find everything she did amusing? _

_ "Let's get one thing straight, I'm a woman not a feline so I would appreciate if I wasn't referred to as 'kitten'. Also, I'm on duty, do you really think I would just drop everything to drink with you? Listen you may be attractive, and you know that. But no offense baby blue eyes, I actually have to work for a living. So scurry along and tell the rest of your entourage that I'm a stuck up Boston bitch. I've heard it all before." _

_ Just when Elena was about to pick up her next tray, he spun her around and she collided with his chest. The tray spun to the floor and was left forgotten, as Elena assessed her current situation. She couldn't help but get lost in his beauty once more. His lips were so perfectly parted, sending out little puffs of air that she could almost taste. He smelled of masculinity, wealthy, and power. Elena couldn't help but get cloudy minded when she looked at his aqua eyes again. It's like they change colors in different lights she thought. I wonder what they would look like in contrast to the moon light, or perhaps in the morning after a long night of sleep? _

_ As she was doing her quick assessment of him and he seemed to be suffering the same affect. The thought alone gave Elena a satisfaction she knew she shouldn't want. But she couldn't help but she felt in powered by the affect she was having on this gorgeous specimen. His eyes seemed to darken with lust as her gaze zeroed in on her eyes. _

_ "Please tell me your name." The words escaped him almost like a plea. His voice was breathy and his gaze seductive as he stared at her pouty lips. His little pink tongue escaped the confines of his mouth and quickly licked his lips. Elena contained her gasp._

_ "I'm..E-Elena" She stumbled out. She felt like throwing a hand over her eyes and yelling "re-do". But she knew that she couldn't take back her embarrassing introduction. So she played it as if nothing happened and continued to be affected by his presence. _

_ He gave a faint little exhale, almost like a sigh and shook his head._

"_You have a beautiful name." He murmured sensually. His gaze zoomed in on her lips once again and he seemed to be having a hard time trying to form a thought. _

"_A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Elena." He breathed the name out like a caress and she shivered involuntarily. The way he pronounced ever syllable rolled off his tongue effortlessly. _

_This man was bad news. Very bad news. Just by the way he was looking at her made her forget the little tiny ring that possessed her thoughts day in and day out. She had to get out of here. Now. This man was having too much of an effect on her and she found herself dragging him to her bed by the end of the night if she didn't get out of here soon. To hell with her boyfriend, he could watch for all she cared. _

_That thought alone rescued her from her reverie. She parted her lips to say something but the words couldn't form out. He stare was now on the top of her head and he reached his hand out to smooth her hair. A ripple of desire ran through her and she knew had to do something fast before this man laid his hands on her. She knew that the feeling of his skin on hers would probably be her undoing. _

_ All of a sudden his hand ventured down the shape of her head and ran itself smoothly down the side of her face. His hand then cupped her cheek and started to caress it with his thumb in smooth circles. She couldn't help her reaction when she shut her eyes and leaned into his touch. His touch felt like liquid warmth spreading through her body. Her mouth let out a small moan and his sharp inhale was no unnoticed by her._

_ "God you're mesmerizing. Oh Elena." He said with a strangled whisper. _

_ It was when he pushed himself up against her and inhaled her scent at the base of her neck that warning bells started to go off in her head. His hard body was pressed up against her front and the feeling was almost sigh worthy. He positioned himself so he was snug in between her thighs and both his hands now were caressing her face. The pads of his thumbs were making small little circles on her cheeks as he inhaled her. He was completely consuming her and she had to get out. Now._

_ "I have to go." She forced out as she mustered up the strength to free herself from the confines of his body. At the loss of his body heat pressed up against hers, she almost felt like moaning in pain. The feeling was too pleasurable to be taken away._

_ "No please beauty." He whispered as he latched on to her hand to pull her body back. She quickly shook him off and fled to the back of the bar to retrieve her coat. _

_ She didn't stop her legs from walking as she zeroed in on her target. Her feet moved her effortlessly to the storage room where she had left her coat. When she had finally received her coat she slowly crept out from the confines of the storage room. She did a quick scan of the room and noticed that her companion was not there. She ignored the pang of disappointment that ran through her at the realization. Honestly Elena, you don't even know his name. _

_ She sped through the still populated crowd of the small bar and emerged out the door. When she did she took a deep breath of air and started to feel as if she was out of breath. The outside of the bar was empty considering the amount of people inside. She shrugged on her coat and began her usual departure home. She didn't get ten feet until he stepped into her view. He grabbed her hand and started forcing her to walk with him. She should've felt panic but for some reason she felt safe with this man. She knew warning bells should be ringing at his behavior but Elena couldn't bring herself to care. _

_ He led her to the back of the bar and pushed her up against the old brick wall. She didn't feel discomfort because he moved his hands to cradle the back of her head as he pushed his forehead up against hers. The breath was mingling with one another as puffs of air escaped them._

_ "You don't get to leave me. Not one when you know how much you're affecting me right now." He forced out in a hoarse voice._

_ "B-but I have to go. I'm so tired." She said almost with a sigh. _

_ The realization of her words finally hit her, she wanted to break down and cry. She was tired. So fucking tired of all of her responsibilities. She was tired of busting her ass off in school only to get a "good job" every once in awhile from her mother. She was tired of going to work to pay for her apartment, clothes, bills, student loans, and tuition. She was tired to have to pay all these things without having any means to support it. She was tired of coming home to an empty apartment and being greeted by a voice mail saying "maybe next time baby". She was so fucking tired of it all and this man may just be her cure._

_ "I know you are baby. Come home with me and I'll take care of you." He whispered in her ear as he started peppering kisses down her neck, leaving little love bites as he went. His hand had now traveled down to her lower back and were circled around her like a vise. _

_ Her body was betraying her and responding to every one of his kisses by a soft sigh. There was nothing more she wanted to do than grab his perfectly sculpted jaw and force his angelic lips to hers. She wanted to feel those perfect lips pressed against her own and have them part with the surprise of his tongue caressing hers in syncrsy. _

_ But these desires had to wait. She couldn't do this. She had to leave or else this man would consume her. _

_ "I'm not yours." She gasped out as his lips made his way back up to her ear. He softly bit it and she moaned out loud. _

_ "I'll make you mine. If I have to come back to this fucking bar each night. I will." He forced out with strangled breaths. He licked her ear and she gasped. This man was going to be undue her if she didn't find a way out. _

_ "I have a boyfriend." She stated. She almost regretted it when she felt the loss of his lips on the base of her neck. Well I guess that showed him. _

_ Suddenly he pulled her forehead back to his and grinded her hips against hers. He let out a groan and gave her a long, sensual kiss on her right cheek that left her gasping for more air. He made his way back to her ear and gave it a lick._

_ "He doesn't want you like I do." He forced with labored breath. _

_ "How do you know what I want?" She couldn't help asking. _

_ With that question he pulled himself away from her and forced her chin up to meet his gaze. He gave a sweet kiss on her nose which made her want to cry out. When he pulled back he must have found something amusing because his face turned up into a sideways smirk. _

_ "You want everybody wants." He stated. _

_ She stared up at him with a wide eyed gaze and parted lips. _

_ "You want a love that consumes you." He whispered out seductively._

_ She parted her lips to say something but he silenced her with a quick kiss on the cheek before mumbling:_

"_A love with passion." He kissed her left cheek and moved on to her right._

"_And adventure." He moved up to her right ear and gave it a quick kiss before saying:_

"_And even a little danger." And with that he took her face between his hands and forced his lips upon hers. _

_ Her initial reaction was to fight it, but her attempt to futile. Why fight something you want? His lips slowly caressed hers and she moaned out loud at the realization that they were as smooth as she suspected. She latched on to his hair and forced his lips on hers harder. He groaned at the contact and splayed his hands upon the back of her thighs pushing her against his arousal. She shamelessly rubbed herself against his middle and his reaction was to part his lips and his tongue escaped._

_ At the first swipe of his tongue against hers, she moaned out loud. This man was consuming her as he had promised. He was taking the life out of her with just a simple kiss and the feeling of his tongue tangling with hers. His hands had started to move themselves up and cradle her bottom his hands. He squeezed and pushed her against him and grinded against her. She forced their mouths to part as she felt the need to breathe. It didn't take long for him to start kissing her neck and groaning at the feeling of their hips colliding._

"_What are you doing to me?" He groaned out loud. _

_ At this, she felt as if a gallon of water was thrown over her head. What was she doing? She was practically dry humping a complete stranger against a back alley way! This wasn't her!_

"_I-I can't do this." She forced out and pushed him off of her. He moaned at the loss of her body pressed up against his but she quickly started to speed walk before this man lured her into something she couldn't go back from. He grabbed on her to hand._

_ "Wait..please Elena. I'm sorry, let me just-"_

_But she cut him off by shaking off his hold on her and kept walking. She couldn't look back. If she did, it would make her surrender to him. _

_ "Please leave me alone." She mumbled out._

_ He snorted and the sound was almost laughable._

_ "Oh if you want to forget this happened fine, but I can't. I'll wait for you Elena. You have completely possessed me. And you don't even know it do you?"_

_ His confession almost made her stop in her tracks but she kept up her pace and refused to look back._

_ "Go back to your little boy Elena, but we both know that he won't be enough for you. And when you realize that, you come find me." He said _

_ That was what made her stop. She slowly turned around and he flashed her a quick smirk. _

_ "How can I find you if I don't know your name?" She questioned_

_ He then started slowly approaching her with his signature swagger. He got right up close to her and she almost turned away when he pulled a length of her behind her ear and whispered:_

"_I'm Damon. Damon Salvatore."_

_ And that was the moment when her whole life changed. _


	2. Chapter 2

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"So I told him, excuse me but Stefan you really don't know the meaning of fabulous. I mean he wanted green for center pieces…" Caroline's voice echoed through the receiver. Elena would nod her head, even if Caroline couldn't see her. Elena wasn't the go to "wedding" friend. She wasn't the go to any kind of friend really. She used to be, there was point when Caroline and her would talk on the phone for hours and laugh about all the ridiculous stuff their boyfriends would do. Even getting into personal stuff, like sexual performance where Elena never really had any room to complain. Caroline was always fed up with any guy's performance, she would make a check list of what they did wrong and Elena would just shake her head then tell her she was insane.

Elena was never really that experienced in the bedroom department anyway. She thought that any guy who lasted more than 2 minutes was alright in her book; boy was she in for a surprise when she got with…_him._

Elena felt a shiver run her through her spine just thinking of him. It still hurt to think about his name, she couldn't even say it out loud. It had become a known rule in the apartment to anyone that steps foot in her house; you must not mention…Voldemort. Immature name, she knew that, but he really was what everyone she knew associated him as "he who must not be named". It hurt Elena to think that this man that meant everything to her couldn't even be mentioned in a conversation now with awkward silences and tears forming in her eyes. She even felt fluid begin to fill in her eyes just thinking about it, which made her roll her eyes.

_Honestly Elena, you brought this upon yourself. You ruined things, not him._

The thought made Elena scrunch up her eyes and almost drop her cell phone. God, she had to stop doing this. It was starting to destroy her life and she was becoming exactly like her mother. Her anxiety was starting to climb as the pitch of Caroline's voice rose. This was happening more frequently and she had no idea why. Maybe because in one week it will have been almost 9 months since..the incident. Thoughts of that night made her almost want to keel over and vomit but she knew she couldn't because it would stain her rug.

Her stupid, over priced Persian rug. At that moment she almost wanted to puke on it. What was the point of the rug anyway? It just sat there, collecting dust particles under it. At her judgement of the rug, her eyes traveled to the rest of her furniture. So ostentatious, it all screamed "I have so much money, how about you?" What a joke. He just had to insist on her having "the best". This wasn't the best to Elena. He didn't even like this furniture, but it was what came with being a part of the family. _Yeah some family that is. _The only woman who actually liked her kicked the bucket and Elena didn't even attend the funeral. Why? She didn't care. It was his mom, not hers. Why should she give him support, she knew he was just going to suck her back in. She refused to break down with him when he called her at 3 AM, claiming that the heart attack had killed her this time. That he had no one else to. That "you were the only one I could think of calling". She didn't react to his understandable tears; she just listened as he sobbed on the phone. As he demanded that she said something, anything. He started begging first, soft little pleas to get her to say something. Then it escalated to assertiveness, threats of hauling her over his shoulder and making her come back to him. When silence followed he started to scream, "Why won't you say anything? What happened to you? What happened to my beautiful girl?" Sobs followed, on his part not hers. She would consider hanging up but she decided to drag on his misery. She wanted him to know that none of it was affecting her. Maybe if he thought that she didn't give a fuck then he would finally give up. She was done with him, why couldn't he just get that. As the weeks followed after his mother's death, she started receiving voice mails. Some were angry at her being so careless to not even attend the wake out of respect of the family. She just didn't give a fuck about him or his fake family so that obviously didn't affect her. There were some that were filled with melancholy undertones and questions of her sanity. The ones that really pissed her off, was when he said that "she was just lost". No, she wasn't lost. For once, she was exactly where she wanted to be. She didn't need him anymore, she had the only thing that she cared about and it was not him. He couldn't even compare to the love she found.

She started to even like his brother more than him. At least Stefan gave her realistic advice, not biased opinions of "I know who you are sweet heart. And this isn't you". Stefan would just give it to her straight; he would tell her when she was being a bitch while _he_ would just use different, more sympathetic adjectives. She wanted to yell at him through the voice mail. She wasn't fucking lost or misunderstood or underappreciated or depressed, she was just being a bitch because she could. She had the power to completely break him and that was her target.

Of course, there were some nights when she cried herself to sleep. Thinking about all the shit she had been putting him through, but she couldn't help but blame him. Also, if he wanted out he could just stop talking to her, but that thought alone made Elena want to keel over in pain. She was selfish, she knew that. But she liked having him around, to remind her that at least one point someone loved her. At least in that way. She didn't need his love anymore; she found a different kind with someone else.

"Jesus! Elena are you okay?" Caroline's concerned voice rang out through her phone. Elena was shaken out of her reverie and recovered from her deep musings. She didn't even realize that she was crying until then. She sniffed a few tears back and rubbed a hand across her forehead.

"Yeah I'm fine. What were you saying Care? Creepy DJ's?" Elena guessed in confusion. Elena had to give herself some credit; she was starting to become a pretty good actress. She should pursue a career in that, it was better than what she had to do now. She shivered and pushed that thought away._ No not now, block it out until you have to._

"No, no, no Elena Marie Sal-" But Elena cut her off quickly.

"Finish that sentence Care and I'm hanging up." Elena threatened in a stern voice. Sure, she made be broken but she still had some fire left in her. She smiled at the memory of _him_ telling her that it was one of his favorite things about her. She shook the memory away, it was too happy. It was too perfect, it was back when she had no idea what the shit she would soon be put through. It was before he knew what he really got himself into.

She heard Caroline curse and quickly try to cover up her mistake.

"I'm sorry Lena okay? I wasn't thinking. It's just I've been so used to calling you that, it just didn't hit me that…you weren't accepting that title anymore. Even though that destroys him, you do know that right? You're killing him." Caroline said with a bitchy undertone. Elena wanted to roll her eyes; of course Caroline was a little biased. You would've thought that she had an almost a four year long commitment to him. When in reality Caroline was like his sister, she had been going out with his brother for almost as long as…they had. In that period, he and Caroline had really bonded and Elena knew that Caroline leaned more on to "Team Damon". Even if Elena had known Caroline half her life, Caroline was smart. She knew when to root for the worthy people, Elena wasn't so worthy. Caroline hated bitches, and that was exactly Elena. The only reason why anyone put up with her was because of..the little one.

The thought made Elena almost cry again. God, she could think of Damon and not want to feel anything. Almost get angry at herself at being sad about him. But when it came to…Jacob it just destroyed her.

"Elena please say something. I feel like I barely know you anymore." Caroline expressed in worry. Elena swiped a few tears from her eyes and tried to clear her throat.

"Care I'm fine. I just…really miss him. I mean, I feel like I can't breathe when-"Caroline's excitement was prominent through her squealing. Before Elena could correct the assumption that Caroline was making it was too late.

"Oh my god! I knew it! Elena I knew you would come to your senses at one point. You know how much he's missed you right? God, Stefan and I can barely bring you into a conversation without him leaving the room. He just sits in the garden and looks at that one picture of you guys. Oh god, Elena, he's going to be so happy! We've been so worried about him!" That was it. Elena had heard enough. Better stop her while she's ahead.

"God Caroline, not…Damon! I meant Jacob. For god sakes. I could give less than a shit about Damon." Elena felt empowered; she finally said his name out loud. Progress, she was starting to take baby steps. At Elena's outburst, Caroline instantly quieted and she didn't say anything for a few moments. It wasn't until she heard Caroline's hoarse voice that she realized she went too far.

"You know Elena, you could at least show a little respect for me. I may not understand your hatred for him, but I can grow to accept it if you didn't throw it in everyone's face all the time.." Caroline said with obvious emotion flowing through her voice. Elena started to feel sorry for hurting Caroline's feelings, she really couldn't care less that it was because of Damon but she cared about Caroline. She could feel her subconscious laughing at the blatant lie that she just expressed but she pushed it away.

"Damon is like a brother to me, Elena! He has helped me in one of my most difficult times while you were too busy trying to forget everyone existed. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be talking to you on the phone right now, but I know how much he loves you Elena and I know he would want you to have someone to talk to. And you don't have to worry; I won't spread this back to him. It would just make him feel worse than he already does. Do you even have the slightest clue of what you're doing to that man?" Caroline finished in a huff of air. Elena felt her anger increase at Caroline's outburst and couldn't hold her words back.

"Wow Care, I didn't know that you cared more about some guy that I fucked a few times more than your best friend of almost twelve years!" She heard Caroline snort through the phone.

"Oh shut the fuck up Elena! You can stop pretending that this guy meant nothing to you! We both know that this is just an act and some kind of coping mechanism to get over you're fucked up issues. Oh and 'that guy you sometimes fucked' was also your boyfriend and the father of your child so I would think he meant a little bit more to you than that." Caroline argued in aggravation. Elena raised her eyebrows, wow go Care! She actually said something about her annoyance that Elena knew must have been eating at her for awhile.

"Yeah but he also screwed me over in a federal court so.." Elena exclaimed with a bitchy tone. The demon inside of her was laughing at the shit she was putting her best friend through; it was reveling in the pain she was causing. _This is what you wanted Elena, why are you feeling bad about this?_

"You were a shitty person and parent Elena. I don't really blame him." Caroled rebutted, knowing exactly what she was doing. Elena should've known, Caroline was a smart girl and knew when people were putting up fronts.

"Fuck you. He probably told you that didn't he? He probably was blubbering about how his beautiful little Elena was now fucked up beyond belief. That I wasn't the same girl he fell in love with and he was 'concerned' about his son. It's a bunch of bullshit Caroline. He's lying to you!" Elena exclaimed through the receiver, fear ringing out in her voice. No, he couldn't be doing this. He was brain washing all of them, it wasn't her that was crazy, it was him.

"Elena, you smoked while you were pregnant with his child. Your son now has a breathing aliment at 6 months old." Caroline said softly, as if she was talking to a dangerous animal. Her calming voice shook Elena to her very core.

She thought about her little boy, big blue eyes and soft black hair. He was a mini-Damon and she remembered how pleased he was when they saw him when he was born. Tears had formed in his cerulean eyes as he looked down at his little son, Elena was delirious with drowsiness but as he looked at his child, she swallowed a large lump that started to form in her throat. He smoothed his fine little hair with his finger and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. He started whispering that he loved him and that he's going to be his "little" buddy. Elena remembered having tears escape her eyes at the bond between father and son. She remembered him looking up and seeing how much their interaction was affecting her. He gave her a watery smile, leaned down, and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "_Thank you. I love you so much. Never let me go." _He whispered.

At the memory, Elena bit her lip to contain her sobs. It was moments like these that she realized how much she loved him, and how much they loved each other. It was moments like these when she felt sorry for all the shit was putting him through and how he deserved so much better. It was moments like these when she felt sorry for making him fall in love her, to the point where he didn't want to be with anyone else. It was moments like these when she felt sorry for ruining him for all other women. At the emotions she was feeling, she grew angry at Caroline. God, she wasn't supposed to feel like this. She's supposed not care and continue her life without him. Block him out any way she could.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! God, why are you doing this to me?" Elena cried as tears started to stream down her face. The pain was evident to Caroline and Elena heard her sigh over the receiver. She wasn't sure if it was out of exhaustion or relief of finally getting through to her. But she played dirty, Elena realized. You could mention Damon, and she would not care, or at least try not to. But when you mentioned Jacob and accusing her of being an unfit mother that was when you got through to her.

"Elena, I'm sorry. But I had to get through to you somehow! You've been a zombie for months! Ever since…well you know. I'm not going to begin with that because I think we both know that you ruined any chance of him finding-"

"Seriously Care? I get it. I know what I did was wrong okay? I wish I could've handled it better and told him sooner but.." But Caroline quickly cut her off.

"You are so full of shit. You knew exactly what you were doing Elena!" Caroline commented with a dark humor in her voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Elena lied with casual grace that Caroline could see through. Elena heard her laugh over the receiver and she rolled her eyes.

"God just admit Elena! You did it on purpose to hurt him!" Caroline said with frustration evident in her soft little voice. It was almost unnatural for one to hear Caroline Forbes in a stern tone of voice, it was something that Elena and Damon used to secretly joke about. Both of them used to compare Caroline to a little rabbit when she wasn't around and laughing at their own secret joke when Caroline would show up to Easter parties with little bunny ears.

"Listen I have to go Care. I'll call you later okay, and could we please not talk about you-know-who? I just want to talk about your wedding okay? Just simple, little girly stuff." Elena attempted to seem convincing. There was nothing Elena wanted to do less than talk about Caroline's wedding preparations. You would think that this girl was getting married to future King of England.

Elena heard Caroline sigh over the receiver and she knew that all was forgotten, for now. Caroline Forbes could never refuse a chance to talk about her wedding, she didn't get the opportunity very often because she didn't have very many girlfriends and most of them tried to avoid talking about it at all costs.

"Okay Elena. But you do know this isn't just going to go away, right?"

"Yes, Care. I'm reminded every day. Stefan is dropping off Jacob in a little bit, so I have to get ready." Elena said nervously. She always got anxious when one of the Salvatore's dropped off Jake. It was usually Caroline, Bonnie or Tyler since they were around them most of the time. She had stated a while ago that Damon could never drop off her child in front of her. She knew that he was just going to march in, as if he owned the place and evaluate her life style. Make sure that she wasn't working at the Fenway anymore, even if she secretly still did. Damon didn't like her working at bars; his protective instincts would be startled at the thought of her being unprotected in a bar with strange men. Even if she had been working there since her freshmen year of college. He would make sure that she was safe, that she was seeing anyone or else he would hunt them down. This wasn't a joke, he has threatened to find of any of her past dates and castrate all of them. In his eyes, she was still "his". Even if Elena made every indication that she wasn't.

"Okay. You should call Stefan though; he told me earlier that he might be dropping him off a bit later. I think Damon wanted to do something with-" Elena felt panic rise up in her chest. No, no, no and did she mention no? God, can't he just be compliant for once in his life? _Of course not, because he was as stubborn as she was. _

"Well I'm going to have to change that. He's supposed to be here at nine and that's when Stefan told me he would be here. God knows where Damon's taking him; he's such an idiot sometimes." Elena said without thinking. She heard Caroline sigh and Elena immediately regretted her past statement.

"It is his son too Elena." Caroline murmered over the phone.

With that Elena hung up the phone and threw it on her down comforter. She took a deep breath and searched her bed stand. She found her full box of untouched cigarettes and smelt the interior. She wanted to moan out loud, god she needed one so bad. The desire for the little cancerous stick made her delirious with want. She felt her hand stroke the box as she tried to contemplate her want.

She knew that this was wrong, that she promised him that she would quit. That she would quit for the sake of their child, after everything she put him through for the rest of his life. That thought alone made Elena throw the box back in the night stand and sigh. She couldn't do it; all she had to do was think of the sound her son made when he let out little baby coughs. It filled her with pain that she gave him something he would have to live with for the rest of his life, all because she was so stupid to smoke for the first few months of her pregnancy. Damon obviously didn't know at the time, he would've legit shot her if he had known. He was mad enough when he found out a few weeks after Jake was born. It was the first wall that was driven between them. It nearly destroyed her when he refused to talk to her for almost three weeks. They were such a passionate couple that it was unusual for them not to be showing affection. They would spoon together each night, but within those three weeks he had decided to sleep at Stefan's apartment. She was left alone with his newborn son, crying as he would cough sporadically.

She had discovered a remedy to avoid the urges to smoke. Yoga had really started to help her and she found herself looking for her mat. She found it rolled up beneath her bed and laid it out in her living room. She put on meditation music and stretched into the downwards dog position. Stretching out her muscles and feeling the need for nicotine easing away. She then maneuvered into the seated straddle, forming a split and she smiled at her ability to do so. Damon was always inspired by her miraculous flexibility, always coming up with various sexual positions. She remembered both of them enjoying thoroughly, too bad she won't those particular moves for awhile. She had recently become celibate for the last few months; she was too busy taking care of her son. She didn't feel the desire anymore; he was the only person to arouse those feelings in her.

She was moving herself in various positions when her cell phone rang. She eased herself out of the standing split and wiped the sweat of her forehead. She really had to start making time for more yoga, she used to be able to do these moves without a sweat. Then again, Damon was there to "assist" her, she blushed at the memory.

"Hello" She answered her phone, she didn't even remember to check the ID.

"Hey Lena, so…a little bit of a problem" Stefan said with awkward, concern. Elena furrowed her eyebrows and smoothed her long, chocolate colored hair into a high pony tail. She took off her sweat pants and changed into her cropped yoga pants, feeling a little awkward with Stefan on the other end of the phone.

"Please, Stefan don't say he's convincing you to let Jake spend another night there. I'm so lonely over here and I just want to see my little boy. My shift was canceled this week and I just want to spend my time off with him." Elena pleaded, hoping Stefan would find sympathy in her begging.

"No Lena, it's not that. Jake will be there at nine, it's just-" Elena sighed with relief and switched the phone on to speaker as she tore her sweaty tee-shirt off. She opted for her neon pink sports bra and took off her gold cross necklace. She was planning on continuing her yoga after speaking with Stefan, whatever he wanted to say he could tell her later. She didn't feel like being lectured by him too.

"Then okay, listen Stefan I have to go. I need to work out and then start heating up Jake's bottles. Do you think you could run by the store and pick up some teething rings, he's been starting to find discomfort in his little gums and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable because I fogot to buy rings." Elena mentioned in a rushed tone, she really didn't feel like explaining her forgetfulness in her son's needs. She knew she should trust Stefan, but a little part of her always felt like everything she told him he would report back to _him. _

"Okay Elena, but I really think you should know-" Elena rolled her eyes, god Stefan do you ever just shut up and do what your told. How has this man managed to get a girlfriend again?

"Does it have anything to do with my child being hurt, dead or in the hospital? In any case, I really don't care Stefan. You can be late, I just want my boy back okay?" Elena pleaded, hoping this would shut him up.

"No! But Elena, Damon wants to-" Elena immediately stopped his efforts of continuing.

"Not now Stefan. Just make sure he doesn't drag his feet with giving Jake up. He's been coming later and later recently." Elena murmered, snarky in distaste for her ex-boyfriend. With that, she hung up and grabbed an ice water from her stainless steel fridge. She rolled her eyes at the expensive thing, another "must have" from his family. She had to admit, they had good taste in apartment complexes, living on Brookline definitely had its perks. She just would rather not have it handed to her on a gold tray just because she had a son. She couldn't help but think what Damon's father would've done if it were a girl, probably left her rotting in a gutter somewhere when she finally dumped his son's ass. Elena could become a prostitute and Giuseppe wouldn't care, he got another boy to carry on the Salvatore name. It was his son who cared about her too much.

A half an hour passed and Elena had seemed to do every yoga pose she knew, twice! She had to get a new yoga book. These moves were all too easy for her and she needed a challenge. She noticed that she hadn't invested in a new yoga book, well, since he had still lived here. God knows they used this book enough to inspire new ideas. Elena used to find herself embarrassed at her impressive stamina to keep up with him but now she was impressed with herself. Towards the end, they had stopped slowly, passionately making love. It had turned into simple fucking , at least that was how Elena treated it. He would come home and she would practically tackle him. Ripping his clothes off and pushing him up against a wall, he had no complaints at first. He was pleased at her eagerness, and then he started to realize that she started taking the passion out of it. Simply having sex for the feeling, not for the simple need to be close to one another. She soon started to tire him out, demanding sex from him at least 3 times a day. Most men would dream of doing that, but she knew Damon wasn't in the relationship for sex. He could get that anytime he wanted, with whomever he wanted. He loved her for her, not because she was good at fucking him. That was the second barrier that was driven between them.

Elena was startled when she heard a knock on her apartment door; she felt the excitement race through her. She got to see her boy again! She saw him week days and Damon got him on week-ends. Nothing could replace the feeling she could get when she saw her beautiful little boy. She grabbed her water bottle and almost skipped to the door, ignoring that she was still in her hot pink sports bra and yoga pants. Stefan was like brother, he'd get over it. She heard another booming knock on the door and rolled her eyes.

"Chill Steffy, I'm coming!" She said in exasperation. Wow, someone was impatient today. She took a gulp of her ice water and swung open the door.

"How's my little boy?" She cooed, but her playfulness was killed when her eyes met his cerulean blue. His hair was mussed and elegantly scuffled on top of his head. It was black as night and shiny in the fluorescent light bulbs. His perfect skin was afresh and as always, free of any kind of blemish. His lips were parted as his eyes scanned down her sweaty body.

"What the hell are you doing here Damon?"


	3. Chapter 3

**GAHH! Thank you so much to the people who alerted/favorited/reviewed the last chapter. It means so much to me and I love hearing what you guys have to say. Love the feedback, keep it coming! Anyways, thanks again and ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

_December 13__th__, 2009_

"_So he said to me that I should work on my passes. Can you believe that? I've been playing this game since I was in kindergarten and coach has the nerve to say that shit to me?" Matt bristled as he gripped the bus seat he sat on, angrily watching the brick walls past as they approached the North Eastern campus. Elena sat casually in the seat next to him, absorbing his rant on how "unfair the coach was being". _

_Matt had been out recently with a bad cold and returned to find himself benched for the next college game. Simmons wasn't known for their football team, in all actuality, they were horrible. Elena would give the advice he needed and she knew it wasn't him that was a bad player. It was just that the teams he would go against were so much better, more skilled. Matt wasn't used to going against such difficult teams, how could he? He was raised in a perfect, little southern town and they were known for their football team. Undefeated every season and Matt played starting running back every year in high school. Elena knew all of this, because she had heard it all, many times. _

"_I'm sure he wasn't being like that on purpose. He probably was just a little upset that you missed so many practices. Can you blame him?" Elena questioned with furrowed brows. Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat and glowered at her. _

"_Really Elena? I didn't know that, thanks for pointing out the obvious! Such a help, really." Matt remarked with heavy sarcasm. Elena rolled her eyes and stared out the passenger window, studying the tiny white flurries that would gracefully fall from the dark sky. It was cold out and Elena was currently wearing Matt's old letterman's jacket as she counted how many snowflakes would land on her window. Recently, the snow has been becoming more interesting than her relationship. She found herself looking down at her promise ring more often and grimacing at the engraved silver band. It felt more like a brand than an actual promise. She wanted to shake the thing off, pretend it didn't exist. But it was always there in the back of her mind, reminding her of the promise it represented._

"_Soon you'll have a real ring on that finger"_

_She shivered as the words echoed in her brain. She was tired of over thinking this stupid promise ring, it was more like an annoyance ring. The symbolism behind the ring was touching, but maybe if it was just shared with someone other than Matt. Over the past few weeks she has been noticing all the things that she used to find adorable about him, they were actually really fucking annoying. She used to think it was cute when he would take her to their favorite diner every Sunday, getting the same meal. Cheeseburger, medium rare, French fries and a diet coke. Every Sunday. It was like they were married already. _

"_Sorry, next time you are complaining about something I'll just keep my opinions to myself" Elena retorted in mild distaste._

"_It would be appreciated." He snapped back in equal annoyance. _

_This is what their perfect; little vanilla relationship had come to. Bickering, and stupid remarks about each other. She found herself only enjoying his company when one of them was drunk. Which was usually him; since they didn't do much together except go to the bar she worked at and catch up with Caroline and Tyler. She couldn't help but feel almost jealous of the couples she would see around them, they all seemed so mature and care free. They didn't have to worry about not being able to pay rent or the dinner bill that night. They didn't have to worry about final exams or getting on Deans List. She felt like she was being left out from all the stuff that actually interested her. She wanted to study abroad, visit Paris and eat at small cafes sipping hot cocoa. But Matt refused to help her find the money, didn't even encourage it. He found foreign countries dreary and dull in comparison to America. Matt wasn't very cultured so he obviously didn't have much room to talk. He didn't even have concrete ideas for the future, Elena noticed. His goals were to graduate college and try to find a job in selling merchandise. Matt thinks he's some great persuader when really he couldn't even get me to participate in second base with him until the first few months we started dating. _

"_Do you want to go home, or are you hungry? We could always stop by the restaurant you like. I don't have cash on me though, so you would have to spring for me." Matt suggested as if he was bored. Elena had to contain the urge to roll her eyes, honestly is this seriously what he finds fun? _

_Elena looked at him and narrowed her eyes. Is this really what was holding her back? This washed up jock that couldn't even spring together enough money to pay for her dinner. She didn't even know the last time he actually opened a door for her or paid for her train ticket to visit Jeremy. Did he have any idea how un-romantic he actually was? It was then she realized that what she was comparing him to was almost unfair. How could a simple man like him compare to the beautiful specimen, Damon Salvatore, she sees every time she works. She makes it seem like she's not interested, blocks it out of her mind most of the time, but she always notices that he's there. She can spot him from a mile away, with his bright, sea blue eyes. The perfect way his dark hair is mussed. His skin looks flawless every time she sees him, almost as if it is incapable for him to have any kind of blemish. His breath-taking eyes sparkle every time she has to lean over and hand him his drink. His soft, pink lips part and caress her name as he replies "Thank you Lena" as his eyes travel down her body. She has to put up her front, pretend she's not interested when in reality, she is just waiting for the opportunity to come for her to jump him. Feel his soft lips caressing hers and their tongues interlocking. She almost blushes when he says her name, almost as if there is some sort of dark promise intertwined beneath the words. _

_He doesn't stop; he has kept his promise that he had said over two months ago. It doesn't matter how inconvenient her shift is, he is always there. Sometimes he's with friends, sometimes he's with a woman, or he's alone. She had come to notice that he comes alone when she works on week nights, as if with the fewer amounts of people, will make her notice him. She would have to be blind not to notice such a beautiful creature in her work place. It constantly distracts her and she can't help but have her eyes travel the room when she's helping another customer. Sometimes he stays the whole night, sometimes he's only there for one drink before he slams his glass down, gives her a seductive wink and saunters out. She'd like to say that none of it affects her, that he's the type of guy she sees all the time go into the bar. But they both know that there's only so much you can push before one of them is going to break. She didn't want it to be her, but now, as she sits next to her incompetent boyfriend; she realizes that it's going to have to be her. _

_Over the past few weeks, the annoying glares she would shoot Damon from across the bar had now decreased considerably. She has now been keeping their eye contact when their gazes would meet and she found herself gasping when he lick his lips looking at her. It didn't come off as creepy; she didn't get that vibe from him. It was almost like it was natural reaction to him and she didn't mind one bit. The times he would come with his friends, they would all be laughing as he would tell stories loudly and animatedly. When there was a pause for laughter during one of his stories, she would look at him and his gaze would always be on hers. It was longing stare as if he craved her attention, pure want of her sitting beside him. When she would come home at nights, ignoring the stupid voice mails she would receive from Matt, she would strip into her pajamas and cuddle up next to her pillow. Closing her eyes and seeing his big blue ones staring back at her. She even found herself crying some nights, aching for the touching she just slightly sampled from him that night. _

_He was right, he was completely consuming her and if this is how he feels then she found no reason to be staying with Matt anymore. Fuck this. She didn't deserve a guy who treated her as if she was lucky to be with him. Elena may not be conceded, but she knew that many men found her attractive. She didn't let it get to her head because she knew that was all it was. Attraction, pure simple attraction. They had no interest of getting to know her really, they didn't care that she had dreams of becoming a children's doctor. They could care less about why she would even choose that profession or the symbolism behind it. All they saw was face and nothing behind it. As if she was just a pretty little doll who would obey to their every pleasure. But for some reason, she didn't get that feeling from Damon Salvatore._

_She shivered, god just thinking about his name did things to her. She would love the way her lips would form the words Damon Salvatore. As if it was a name built for pleasure, and needed to be said often. She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to moan his name over and over. Probably a lot more satisfying than screaming Matt out in ecstasy. Oh who was she kidding? Matt could barely make her reach orgasm, let alone make her scream. But something about Damon Salvatore made her think that he could give her something Matt couldn't. _

"_Elena, what do you want? If you want to go to Sandy's then we should probably get off on the Red Line or if you want to go to Teddy's then we should get off now." Matt questioned with skepticism at her icy look. She continued to stare at him and then shook her head in almost amusement. Matt grew angry almost instantly._

"_Elena what do you want to do? Do you want to eat?" Matt asked as if he was speaking to a stubborn child. Which was almost what he was doing, Elena was known for being stubborn and not easily agreeable. _

"_No but I would want to break up." Elena said as if they were talking about the weather. Matt gasped as if this came to him as a surprise. His mouth gaped open and shook his head in confusion. Elena studied him and all of a sudden he started to laugh in surprise. _

"_Are you kidding me? You're breaking up..with me? You were all over me when we first met." Matt stated in confidence. It was Elena's turn to laugh and see his face drop at her brisk rejection. She shook her head and tried to catch her breath. Honestly, what was attractive about him again? She couldn't seem to remember, all she could put together was that she had the need to feel a certain dark haired, blue eyed man's lips on hers. _

"_You mean when I was eighteen years old? Oh yeah, you were such a dream boat. But guess what Matt? I deserve someone who can actually take care of himself and I've matured since when we last met, where as you obviously have not. I mean honestly, when's the last time you actually paid for my dinner? Forget it, it doesn't even matter. Here, I won't be needing this anymore."_

_She started to shimmy her ring off and Matt inhaled a large amount of air, almost as if she knocked the wind out of him. He looked as if he was shocked at her removal of the ring and stared down at it with confusion. He then raised his eyes to her in disgust._

"_You fucking bitch. Do you know how many video games I had to sell to get you this money?" He yelled at her as she started to stand up and shrug of his coat. She tossed the coat on to him, landing in a heap at his lap. He still looked as if he was still shocked and she started making her way off of the bus. It was then that he was shaken out of trance and angrily yelled:_

"_YOU BITCH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WERE A VIRGIN WHEN I MET YOU AND THE SEX WAS EVEN THAT GOOD AND I STILL STAYED WITH YOU!" _

_Elena rolled her eyes, knowing that all of this was true. So maybe she sucked at having sex, she could also tell you all of America's great literature and every bone in the human body. Having skills of sex didn't seem very important to her. And it wasn't her fault that she had a lousy teacher. I mean really, a minute and fifteen seconds? Get real. _

_Elena hopped off the bus and smiled as it started to drive away. She let out a huge breath of air and started making her way to the Fenway. The bar was only a couple blocks away from where the bar was located and Elena couldn't help but feel the nervous butterflies in her stomach. Would he be there? Even if she wasn't working? She never went to the bar when she wasn't working, so why would he be there? Unless he thought that she lived close by there and he could catch a glimpse of her. That thought should've frightened Elena, but she couldn't help but feel flattered if that were the case. Who would've thought that little Elena Gilbert could snare one of the most successful lawyers in all of the East Coast. What? Elena did her research too. _

_It had been few days after their encounter at the bar and the memory of his soft hands gliding up her body was still fresh in her memory. She couldn't help but tame her curiosity and type in Damon Salvatore into Google search. She remembered fiddling her thumbs and almost hitting herself in embarrassment. What if he was just a regular guy, why would he be on Google Elena? Why didn't you just find him on Facebook? _

_But these thoughts soon vanished as pictures of his beautiful face started popping up on her screen. She gasped out loud at the results. Almost 2,500 pictures of Damon Salvatore from various magazine articles and newspapers. She soon discovered that Damon Salvatore was from Cambridge in Boston and only grew up a little ways from where she was raised. Of course, the two parts of the city were very much different. Cambridge was filled with old, Victorian homes and perfectly manicured lawns. It was where brick buildings were kept up dating back from the 18__th__ century. _

_She also found that Damon was valedictorian of his high school; he attended St. Paul's Prep School of Cambridge and graduated with a 4.0. He also was on the school's soccer, basketball, and lacrosse teams. He was smiling brightly up at the camera in each group shot of his team, always the team captain she noticed too. He would be holding a big trophy in one hand and a finger symbolizing number one. She almost felt giddy that such a catch found her so attractive, but she knew something had to be wrong with him. But so far she couldn't find anything, no criminal record or any kind of mischief when he was a teenager. That was odd, Elena thought in confusion. She also realized that she could find nothing of his family, no signs of brothers or sisters. It was just Damon Salvatore mentioned and no one else commented on his achievements. It made her almost sad to think that he had accomplished so much and no one was there to even congratulate him. The thought made her shake her head and scold herself for being so stupid. Of course he had someone encouraging him; he wouldn't have made it so far if he hadn't. _

_After high school he got accepted into Harvard but realized that he graduated early with a law degree, only having to go to school for 6 years instead of 8. Another odd thing, how did he get special treatment? Most people, who studied to become lawyers, didn't make it out until they were at least in their late twenties. He also almost instantly got accepted into a successful law firm and won his first case he received. He was a criminal defense attorney, so he obviously had to be pretty good at his job. _

_And he made time every night to go and see me at the crappy bar I work at?_

_At the time, Elena shrugged all of this off and assumed her would grow tired of trying to pursue her. But he hadn't, he had stayed just for her. _

_As Elena processed all this, she quickly forced her feet to the familiar streets to her work. She was doing silent little prayers that he would be there, maybe just lounging in the back or drinking his usual bourbon on a stool against the bar. The anticipation was almost killing her and she found herself looking in the reflections of windows to scope out her appearance. She fluffed her hair a little and frowned when it relaxed itself back into its usual straight style. Her hair couldn't hold a curl and she hated it for being so boring. She was dressed in a simple outfit, if she had known she was going to break up with her boyfriend and seduce an attractive older man, she would've dressed more dramatically. But she found herself content in her tight, skinny jeans and form fitting grey sweater. She wore a tiny little cross necklace and brown suede boots. She also decided to wear a black over coat and matching grey and white scarf. She looked like a forever 21 ad for new Christmas attire, she looked so..young. She didn't want to come off as a simple college student, fumbly and naive. She rolled her eyes and continued her way to the bar. She didn't want to over think things or else she would talk herself out of it. She finally approached the entrance of the bar and couldn't see much through the dark, tinted windows. She eased the door open and scrunched her eyes through the darkness. Jeez was it always this dark on Saturdays she wondered. The bar was crowded and huddled together from the coldness outside. She couldn't see threw the crowds of people and she stood on her tippy toes assessing the crowd. She flopped back down on her heels and sighed, please be here, she prayed. She elbowed and pushed her way to the front of the bar, gaining dirty looks from skimpily clad girls. When she reached the end of her path and saw that she couldn't find him. She frowned and pushed her way to the front of the bar. She searched for the bar tender; maybe someone she knew was on tonight. She was finally feeling the beginnings of disappointment when she felt a hand glaze down the side of her hip, kneading it possessively. She almost moaned out loud as a soft kiss was placed on her ear and whispered:_

"_So we meet again beauty" Damon murmured softly as he kept his hold on her soft, yet willing body. She relaxed into his hold and spun around, letting their eyes lock. His big blues were zeroed in on her lips and she found herself staring at his. He licked his lips before smirking and saying:_

"_So are you finally here to put me out of my torture?" Damon questioned sensually as she continued to stare at his pretty, pink lips. They were pouty and practically begging for her kiss. She raised her eyes to meet his and was met with his lustful gaze on hers. She gasped and grabbed his hand; she felt the lustful spark run down her body at his touch. She started pushing her way through the crowd and out the entrance. The cold air greeted her and found herself searching for the empty alley way they found themselves in just a few months prior. He let her lead him into the dark alley before pressing her up against the wall, like last time. He pushed his forehead against hers and she let out little puffs of air. _

"_Tell me how much you've been thinking about me? I bet I consume your every thought." He whispered with a cocky smirk. Elena blushed and pecked his cheek. He sighed wistfully and she smiled up at him._

"_You were right. He wasn't enough for me." She whispered with equal lust and he found himself gasping at the realization of her words. _

"_No he wasn't. He never was and never will be. He didn't deserve you" Damon said, completely bewitched by her big doe eyes staring up at him. She fluttered her eyelashes and smirked as he leaned down to give her a sweet kiss on the nose. _

"_Oh and you do?" She said with cocky arrogance. Damon froze and shook his head._

"_Frankly, no. I don't think any man is worthy of you. You are worth more than all of the gold in the world; you are ten times out of any man's league." He said in all seriousness. She bristled and furrowed her brows in modesty. She found herself rolling her eyes._

"_You're crazy." She stated with a smile on her lips, he smiled back and leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. His kiss traveled up to her ear and he whispered:_

"_Only for you baby. I've never met anyone like you before, and believe me when I say I've met a lot of women in my life." He boasted with pride, she rolled her eyes and surprisingly felt a prickly of jealousy at the past girls in his life._

"_Ah yes which brings me back to the whole, 'this is a load of crap thing'. I mean honestly, I've seen you with what? Thirty different girls from the last time we spoke, I don't think you're as smitten with me as you say." She teased, she didn't actually mean it. In all honesty, she was a lot more attractive than those other girls. She was sure of it…right?_

_He smirked and ran his soft hands down her body. He settled them on her thighs and squeezed when he leaned in to press his lips against hers. She moaned at his mouths assault and wove her hands around his neck. She tilted her head and gave him access to the confines of her mouth. He groaned as he felt the entrance of her mouth, interlocking his tongue with hers. She noticed that he tasted like bourbon, a nice manly taste. She gripped on to his hair and pushed his lips harder against hers. His hands started to travel up to her behind and squeezing as he thrusted his arousal against her. She broke apart from his lips and moaned at the feelings. He continued his way down her neck and back up to her mouth again. They continued to feel each other's mouth's when he backed away. Throwing his hands completely off of her and she was left panting against the cold, brick wall. She slowly opened her eyes and found his hands planted on either side of her head, he gazed down at her in hunger._

"_Those girls aren't like you. They just give me a sample of what I can get from you. Dear god, how do you do that?" He asked with genuine curiosity as his finger trailed down her ear. She let out a breathy moan and leaned into his kiss again. He gave her a soft, sweet kiss on the lips. It didn't contain as much lust and hunger as the one before, this one was sweeter as if she was made of glass. He moved his hands to the side of her cheeks and stroked them with his soft thumbs. She swallowed when their mouths departed and stared up at him longing. She tried to pull his head down again, but he moved his head out of the way. _

"_More" She moaned and attempted to bring his lips back down to hers. He again dodged her assault and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She sighed in disinterest and he laughed at her frustration. He started kissing her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids, until he reached her ear and softly bit on it. She softly moaned and he whispered:_

"_The reason I'm not kissing your pretty little mouth is because if I do I won't be able to stop. And you'll end up with your legs around my waist and me thrusting into you. And as much as that idea may sound appealing, you aren't like those others girls." He whispered with another bite on my earlobe. I processed what he was saying, but my lust filled mind still didn't see what was wrong if we continued. I don't even care if it's been 3 weeks since I've had sex, this man is too irresistible. All I could think about was grabbing the hard member that was poking at my inner thigh and taking matters into my own hands, literally. I moaned in frustration and he softly snickered in my ear. _

"_What makes those girls so special that they get to fuck you?" I asked in aggravation. He stopped kissing my neck and raised up meet my eyes. He softly smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the nose before continuing and saying:_

"_Because when push comes to shove, I'm going to want you on my side. You aren't those girls because you have no idea how much more you are. You have no idea the affect you have on people, Elena. I've spoken to you about 2 times prior to this and I can already tell so much about you."_

"_You're beautiful, that's a given. But I've known a lot of beautiful girls in my life time and there's something about you. You have a way of sprinkling light into every room you go in and you tell it how it is. You don't bullshit people and you're not afraid to stand up to those who intimidate you. And you're passionate, god you're passionate Elena. You're little doe eyes can look up and completely beguile a man. Do you know how long I've been waiting to meet a girl like you? And believe me; I've had my fair share of experience in the women department. Elena you're not some girl, I would take home and fuck. Which by the way, I really hate that term, because with you it wouldn't be fucking. It would be so much more Elena and you're the type of girl a guy wants to show off. You deserve to be loved every minute of every day." Damon finished with a soft kiss on my cheek. I was still recovering from the initial shock of his heartfelt words, this man barely knows me and he could read me like a book. When I finally found the words to speak, he stared down at me and mumbled how beautiful I was. _

"_Is that something you would be?" I said, not knowing if it made sense or not. But as I asked the question he seemed to understand what I was saying. _

"_I could be whatever you want me to be Elena. I'm willing to do just about anything to be have a chance with you." Damon said as he enveloped me in his arms. He huddled me close up to his woolen, winter jacket and I snuggled against the fabric. He made a sound almost like a purr and placed a kiss on top of my head. _

"_Let's get you home, beauty. Where it's nice and warm." He said with an arm around my waist and kiss on the cheek. _

_Oh yes, this man is definitely going to consume me._

2012

Elena stared at the man who used to rule her world in shock. She didn't know exactly the last time she had seen him. Was it Bonnie's birthday party? The one where she had faked a stomach cramp and ran to the car as fast as her legs could carry her. It felt like she hadn't seen this man in ages and now he was standing in front of her looking as gorgeous as ever. Hey, she could still hate him, but he was beautiful Elena found herself grumbling.

He was dressing in black jeans that hung seductively off his narrow hips. He had their child rested on his hip and was balancing him with a frown on his face. He had on a grey v-neck and black leather jacket. His hair was elegantly messy as usual and she remembered how soft it was running her fingers through it. His eyes were burning with what seemed a combination of lust and anger. He bounced Jake up and down when he started cough. Elena frowned and momentarily forgot her surprise at her husband as she was distracted by her poor son's breathing issues. She reached out for him but Damon side stepped her and walked into the threshold of her front door. She rolled her eyes at Damon's sneaky way in and closed the door. _Might as well get this over with._

He set their child down on his bouncy chair, and he softly smiled when their son looked up at him with his big blue eyes. He knelt down and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. He eased himself up and turned around to face her with his arms crossed. He looked quizzically and Elena felt nervous under his hard stare. His eyes traveled down her toned body in her skimpily clad yoga attire. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Why haven't you been eating right? You've lost weight since the last time we spoke." Damon stated with hard concern in his voice. Elena pressed her lips into a hard line and cleared her throat.

"I've been eating fine, thank you. Maybe I've just been working off the pregnancy weight I had gained before I had Jake." Elena lied; she really hadn't been eating well. Food just didn't have very much taste anymore and she no longer felt the need to enjoy it. Damon rolled his eyes and started making his way about the house, again as if he owned it. Which he sort of did, Elena didn't like this fact. She felt like she could never truly shake him if he kept paying for her expenses.

"Elena, I think we both know how desirable you were before, during, and after you had Jake so that excuse isn't exactly valid." His eyes flared with lust as his eyes once again traveled down her body. He inhaled and quickly averted his eyes to the kitchen.

"Shut up Damon. What are you doing here?" She questioned with annoyance.

He ignored her as her studied the rest of her living room, staring intently at the pictures of them. He gazed considerably at each one of them, having huge smiles on their faces. There was one of them on a beach in Hawaii, sunset in the background and it's a picture of their profiles, staring at each other. There was another on their wedding day, Elena in a mermaid style, white gown, and her hair in a half up half down, with curls cascading down her shoulders. She was laughing at something Damon whispered in her ear and she's resting her hand on his shoulder as he stared down at her with love in his eyes. The last is a candid and it's Elena's profile as she is looking at the sunset in Hawaii and Damon is staring at her in the picture.

Damon stared considerably at their wedding day one, and she almost started to feel a little emotional herself. She really should take those down; they were just soiled memories that could never be repaired again. Damon finally tore himself away from the pictures and waltzed around the living room, staring at anything that caught his eye.

"Damon if you're here for a reason it would be nice to tell me instead of just stalking around my apartment." Elena snapped in annoyance.

Damon stopped when he picked up her yoga book and silently smirked to himself. He raised his eyebrow when he saw all the pages that had been flapped down so long ago, obviously on his part so she would see them.

"Brings back a lot of memories Elena. Very, very, pleasant memories." Damon murmured seductively and Elena swallowed. No, this shouldn't be attracting her. He's bad for her, plus she doesn't even love him anymore. I mean she hardly ever thinks about this man. Hardly.

"Which one was your favorite Elena? The one where you I bent you over the-"

"Stop. Stop it right there Damon. I don't want to hear anymore." Elena said with mortification all over her face. Damon just smiled at her modest reaction and sauntered over towards her.

"Oh Elena let's not pretend we're innocent here. Let's not pretend that you didn't love it when I had you bouncing on my-"

"Damon! Honestly, your child in is in the room for god's sake. Can we not have this discussion while he's in his bouncy chair?" Elena said with annoyance and moved herself away from her erotic sort-of husband. He snickered and followed her into the kitchen. She wanted to push him off a flight of stairs, why couldn't just leave already?

"Our child." He corrected, "And I think he has a right to know how he was conceived. God knows how many times we ended up on top of each other after one of your 'yoga sessions'. I think you just did it deliberately to turn me on." Damon said as he pressed himself against my back. I almost wanted to respond to his touch but my instincts took over and pushed him away. He stumbled back and smirked at my angry expression.

"God, you're sexy when you're angry." Damon's eyes flared with lust.

"Honestly, Damon control yourself." Elena scolded as if she was speaking to a difficult child. Damon pouted childishly and rolled his eyes at her annoyed expression.

"Well honestly what do you expect? I come up to your doorstep and here you are all sweaty and sexy. You're hairs up and you know I like it when it is, you're all big breasts and ass. It's distracting, and frankly what do you expect from a man who has slept with you over a hundred times? I really hope you don't greet all your visitors like this." Damon bristled with angry eyebrows. Elena laughed at his expression and sauntered back into the living room. He followed, as always entranced by the lovely sway of her hips.

"Elena. That wasn't a request. I don't feel comfortable with you greeting strangers like this." Damon said with concern.

"Honestly Damon, even if that were the case, what are you going to do about it? You don't live here anymore. Which brings me back to my point of why you're even here." Elena said as she held up Jake from his bouncy chair. Jake let out a little coo at the feeling of his mommy and snuggled up against her. Elena smiled and Damon continued to stare at her in pointed disapproval.

"Oh Elena I could think of a lot things I would like to do about it. But anyways I came here to express my concern for our son. He has been coughing all throughout the night and-"

"Did you give him his medicine this morning?" Elena questioned with casuality. Damon rolled his eyes and retorted:

"Of course I did. I was just wondering if there was some way we-I mean, I could give him something else. He's really uncomfortable Lena, and I don't like to hear him cough so much. It kills me to see our son in such discomfort, please tell me there's something I can do." Damon said sincerely. Elena tilted her head and smoothed Jake's fine baby hair on his head. She sighed and shook her head sadly. She had actually already looked into it and Jake was too young to be start taking anymore medication.

"I'm sorry Damon, but he's still too young-" But Damon's angry shouts cut off her soothing tone.

"Oh bullshit! I know plenty of doctors and I'm almost positive they could give me something. Elena, our child seems miserable when he's like this. I refuse to have our son suffer anymore, I won't stand for it. We're going to get an approval from the doctor and get this straightened out."

"Damon, calm down okay? Our child isn't miserable; he's just uncomfortable at nights mostly. I actually looked up some coping methods and if you rub his chest it sort of eases the pain a little." Elena said sympathetically, she could deal with this Damon. She didn't like the Damon that tried to win her back all the time; she liked protective, Daddy-mode Damon. It was something they could at least relate to and not dwell on their relationship.

Damon nodded his head and looked at Elena and gave her a small smile. She returned it and found herself questioning why she was being so nice to him. _Maybe because he's the man who held your hand as you gave birth to his son. The man who wiped your tears away when you found out the death of your brother. The man who held you as you cried about what you did to the child you the both of you created._

"If you want I can call the doctor and maybe he can tell us something?" Elena asked, trying to ease some of his concern. Damon nodded and went into the bedroom to grab her cell phone. Elena smiled a little as she bounced her son up and down on her hip. Jake smiled a big toothless grin and nuzzled his face into her shoulder. She laughed and rubbed his back, whispering lullabies in his tiny ear.

Both mother and child were startled when they heard Damon shout out an exploitative. Jake started to cry and Elena starting shushing her small boy. She frowned and started walking towards the bedroom to find Damon staring at her in anger.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ELENA? Did giving our son severe asthma mean anything to you?"

Elena gasped and held Jake closer to her bosom. His cries were starting to get absorbed into the fabric of her sports bra and she bit her lip, to contain her screams at Damon.

"What the hell are you talking about Damon?" Elena said with anger in her voice, trying to console their sobbing child. Damon threw her full box of cigarettes on the bed and Elena gasped.

"So I guess the sake of our child wasn't enough to make you quit, am I wrong?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my gosh, SO sorry for the wait. I had so much to do before summer started and then summer came and I was traveling. But I'm here now so yayyy. Wow 25 reviews for 3 chapters? I didn't expect that kind of reaction at all. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story and leave a review. Reviews are what keep me going and the more I get, the more inspired I am. I want to thank everyone who left a review and I read each one of them. So this chapter is a little more….**_**ahem**_**..Mature than my others. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. **__**Anyway on with the story…**

Elena looked up at Damon's cobalt blue eyes, widening them in shock as he penetrated her with his stare. _Oh jeez, how would she get herself out of this one_ she wondered? Elena tried to open her mouth to form words but nothing seemed to be coming out. It was as if someone had duct taped her mouth shut and she couldn't get a word out. The only thing she managed to do was look up at Damon with as much innocence that she could muster, even if he had stolen whatever she had left of it many years ago. She felt as if her world was on axis, and the only thing keeping her still was the little baby she had in her arms. The little baby that got them into this whole mess.

Elena gaped at him and continued to stare at the full box of cigarettes in his hand. He was clutching them and part of Elena thought he was two seconds away from turning that cardboard into dust. At her non compliance Damon grew disgruntled and furrowed his eyebrows in anger, shaking his head at her in disgust. He through the box back on the bed and gave her an icy scowl. He folded his arms across his chest and continued to stare at her in harsh judgment. Elena knew that she should start talking, fast, but she knew he wouldn't let her get a word in. She would probably be better off lying, saying that she smoked eight times a day, maybe that could get him out of her life for good. But Elena knew that if she said that he would ship her off to court again and she would never see Jake. Also, there was a small part of Elena that hurt to even think about Damon being out of her life for good. Even if she refused to admit it. Her silence broke Damon to his boiling point and Elena saw his cheeks flush with anger.

"God damn it Elena! Answer me for once in your life! Are you smoking again?" He barked in agitation, his hands now balled into fists. _God he's sexy when he's angry. _Elena shook her head at her betraying thoughts. She wasn't supposed to be attracted to this Damon; she wasn't supposed to be attracted to any type of Damon. But it was hard to ignore when he's standing in front of her, looking down right sinful in black jeans, gray v-neck that clung to his muscles in all the right places and a sleek, black leather jacket. He had his, I'm-really-fucking-mad-at-you face on and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought. His jaw was clenched and she could see some of the muscles of his neck when he shouted.

He then started throwing his hands up and shouting curse words in Italian, for hers and the baby's sake of course. But this didn't distract her from his beauty, not even a little. His eyes that were usually icy blue were now a deep shade of lusty aqua. They were practically screaming with emotions as he continued to scold her. Elena didn't really listen, well for one because he was literally not making any sense. But also because he just looked so sexy pacing back and forth in her living room, their son staring up at him with youthful eyes. Elena didn't know which Damon attracted her more, Protective Daddy Damon or 'I'm-very-aroused-and-pissed-off-at-you' Damon. Maybe both…yeah both sounded good.

"Elena I swear to God if you don't answer me, I will break that sweet little body of yours." He said with malice, his words dripping with erotic undertones. "And I'd enjoy it, I think you know that better than anybody." He said with a seductive gleam in his eye.

Elena inhaled a little too much air and blushed furiously at his innuendo, remembering all the times they used to solve arguments in the past. They usually were catastrophic and his voice could shake the walls in their giant apartment. He would normally say something he didn't mean, tell her that he was done, grab his leather jacket and exit through the front entrance. Elena would scream at him, informing him that if he left, he wouldn't be welcomed back anymore. Then of course after the door slammed, she would start to look around her empty apartment, and act as if his presence wasn't needed. And when that didn't work she would start to cry and yell his name. She knew that Damon would never actually go, he would just say it as a punishment, knowing it would hurt her. Damon would then sweep in, under about five seconds and push her up against the wall, kissing all of the tears that she had shed. They both would mumble apologies and promise not to fight again, even if they both knew that would never happen. They would start to kiss softly, then it would progress into passionate embraces and words, until both of them were tearing each other's clothes off, inching towards their bed.

But of course, that was then. Now Elena knows that pouting her lips suggestively and batting her eye lashes won't work. Crying and yelling, 'Damon' won't make him forget all of their disagreements. This she would have to fight on her own, and she would. He was not leaving until he knew that she had good intentions in raising her child.

"Damon, please listen to me. I know you like to jump to conclusions but-"Of course Damon reacted to this statement, throwing his hands up in exasperation and widening his eyes. Before Elena could finish her statement, Damon cut her off:

"Jump to conclusions? How am I jumping, the evidence is right here. It doesn't take an idiot to see what you've been hiding Elena!" Damon growled at her as he started pacing more furiously. Elena took a deep calming breath, remembering her meditation exercises. See, this was exactly why she and Damon fought so much, because he would lash out every single thing that he would assume. He didn't like hearing her sides of things because he didn't like being wrong.

"Damon, you need to calm down, okay? Please don't startle Jake." She said in her soothing voice that used to make Damon fall asleep instantly at night, although it didn't seem to be having the same calming affect it once did. If anything, her voice only made him angrier.

"I AM ACTING CALM! God, it drives me crazy when you say that! You automatically assume that-"

"Damon shut up. For once in your life, stay still and try not to let your emotions get the better of you." Elena exclaimed, her emotions starting to crumble at the stress he was starting to put on her. If only she could be doing yoga right now. Damon immediately closed his mouth, and pouted his lips in a scowl. He gestured for he to continue and Elena took a breath:

"To answer your question Damon, no I haven't been smoking again. The promise has remained intact and I would never want to jeopardize my health like that again. Of course I still get the urge to, that's never going to magically disappear but yoga has really started to help. Also, Caroline has been very encouraging and she even helped find special medicines to help me." Elena confessed, weary at his suspicious eyes. Elena sighed and inched towards Damon, resting her hand on his chest. Damon flinched at the contact and Elena instantly removed her hand, a look of sadness started to fill in Damon's eyes. "I know it's hard to trust me Damon, considering all I've done to you. I know how much you probably can't stand seeing me-"

"It never bothers me to see you, Elena. It's…" He pauses as he runs a hand through his dark locks and chuckles, " it's the best part of my week". Elena feels a tiny flutter in her chest and stares into his beautiful blue eyes, trying to contain the tears she's been holding since she's seen him. Damon bristles under her stare and blushes considerably. Elena almost wants to smirk at the adorable reaction. Catching Damon off guard is one thing, catching Damon actually blushing is almost impossible. Considering what he used to do to her, he should've lost that charming ability awhile ago.

"Elena, I can't stop…thinking about you. Worrying about what you're doing or who you're seeing. I mean I feel like a freaking lunatic because I'm constantly checking my phone to see if you called or if there's something, just something, that can give me hope. Because honestly Elena, as much as you make me furious, I could never stop-"

Elena held up her head, as if to stop him. He closed his mouth and blushed with embarrassment again. She knew that look; she had obviously seen the vulnerable side of him again. The side she fought so hard to break down, and now she rejects each time it's exposed. If she had never meddled with his emotions, he'd probably be happy right now. Then again, if she hadn't broken down those walls he built around his heart, she had never had Jacob. And that thought deeply disturbed her.

"Damon, please don't start. I understand it will take some time for you to start trusting me again." Elena admitted with a downcast stare. Why was she being nice to him again? For the sake of having a decent relationship with Jake's father, that's what she tried to convince herself. But something told her it wasn't just that.

"I'll always trust you. You know I will, it was in our vows remember?" He murmured, inching closer to her. Elena tried to move away but he backed her up against the wall. She tried to escape but he blocked her body. He ran his thumbs over her cheeks, leaned down to kiss her softly atop the head. Elena scrunched her eyes, swallowed her guilt and pushed him off of her. He stumbled back and looked at her with upset eyes. His eyes moved downcast and she snorted:

"Damon, you don't want to do this. You were miserable with me." Elena stated, trying to sound convincing. She almost braced herself for the outburst that followed:

"What are you talking about?" Damon exclaimed in surprise, "I'm sorry did I miss the part when you started answering for me, Elena? Because last time I checked I was pretty fucking happy until you messed everything up. I mean I can't remember a time when I wasn't happy with you. My nights with you were passionate, mind-blowing and my mornings with you were sensational and relaxing. I couldn't think of a better person to fall asleep next to, or wake up to in the morning. I loved every minute we spent time together, do you honestly think that I was miserable with you?" He paused at her insecure stance, "Oh baby how could you possibly think that?" Damon questioned with sadness on his beautiful features. Elena swallowed and tried to avoid his blue eyed gaze. She knew that all he was saying was true; she knew that he never really was miserable. Not even in the worst parts of their relationship. But Elena thought that maybe if she assumed he was miserable, he would agree with her. He usually agreed with her on how he was feeling because she was so attune with his emotions. Damon Salvatore was a masterpiece but he had many layers to him. She knew every one of those layers and how to handle each one.

"Oh Damon, honestly? After everything-" But Damon shook his head, holding up his hand to stop her. Elena braced herself when he started walking towards her with determined strides. His body was now pressed up against hers and she tried to dodge him but he pushed her up against the wall. His breath coming out in puffs over her lips and she stared down at his seductive mouth. Licking her lips at the taste she remembered them being.

"Elena, I'm still hurting. Believe me there's not a day that passes when I don't remember how much you hurt me. How much you just didn't give a shit. But then I remember how much I love you. How much I can look past all the shitty things you did. You know why? Because I can't imagine a life without you in it somehow. I can't imagine finding someone who evokes these feelings in me. Feelings of desperation and admiration. It's like you're in my blood Elena, there's no going back for me after I've been with you."

Elena let out a moan of agony. God, why is he doing this? What have I done to him? He shouldn't feel like this, haven't I made every intention that I don't want him. Maybe I haven't been clear enough. Perhaps he's more intelligent than I gave him credit for meaning he can see right through my façade.

"Damon, how can you feel that way? I mean, I'd hate me if I were you." I forced out with desperate eyes.

His face contorted in frustration and he pushed himself off of me. Running his fingers through his perfectly disheveled hair, his blue eyes flaring in anger. He started pacing as I spewed words of comfort but he was having none of it.

"You think I want to feel this way? This…this..desperation? This pain that is with me all the time knowing that I'm not coming home to you. The anxiety of wondering when the next time I see you will be? I hate it Elena. I hate feeling like this pathetic loser all the time. That's not the kind of person I am. But as much as I try to fight it, I can't quit the way I feel about you."

"Sometimes I wish I could fall in love with someone else. Someone who wouldn't make me feel this shitty when I'm not around them. But then I realize that, that's not the kind of love I was destined for. That we were destined for Elena. You remember what I told you when we first time we met?"

At this point I was in pain, listening to my own worst nightmare come to life. The nightmare of him hurting because of me. His inability to move on. I then pushed my anger away and decided to just get him out, as swiftly and efficiently as possible at this point. I was angry at him for making me want him again. It was time to let my inner bitch out, the demon inside was giddy with excitement.

"Yeah _a love that consumes_, blah blah blah. I got the message the first time Damon. I don't need the recap."

He blushed again out of either embarrassment or anger. He shoved his hands into his pockets and clenched that delicious jaw of his. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

"God you really can be a bitch sometimes. You know, that used to be turn on but now it's just annoying" He admitted in fury.

"What? You can't take the truth? What do I have to do, to prove that I could give less than a shit about how you feel Damon?"

He gulped and I thought some hurt come across his face. He blinked his eyes repeatedly and starting avoiding eye contact, as if looking at me caused him pain. I scoffed at the thought and let the demon come over. I giggled at his expression and he grimaced at the sound.

"You know what's funny Damon is that I could say horrible things and you'd still be whipped for me. It's entertaining really. I mean, you come off as some arrogant son of a bitch, a man other men would kill to be. You can get any girl you want. Yet when it comes to little old me, you just can't help but love me. I mean I don't blame you, I was the best thing that happened to you're cookie cutter life style. So you know Damon, you can spout about how you just "can't quit me" and how you wished you met someone else. But at the end of the day Damon, it's..always…going..to…be…me" I dragged out the last sentence as the cruel words hit him. He swallowed and started shaking his head with a bitter sweet smile on his face.

"Elena, you forget how well I know you. I've seen you naked physically, and mentally. And right now? You're whole 'bitch act', I'm not buying it. If anything you're in denial of your consuming feelings for me. And if I remember correctly, I think I was the only guy who gave you an orgasm? Oh and the first one you gave head to so" He smirked his devil-may-care smile and finished with "If we're going to act cocky, we should probably remember where we started".

I raised my eyebrow at his temporary pride. Wow, he must be really proud of himself for that one I joked internally. Oh Damon, so simple minded sometimes.

"Okay, I'll give you that. You may have been the first, but sweetheart you weren't my last" I said with my own smirk as a dark look came over his eyes. He clenched his jaw and turned his head away. His fists were tightened and the muscles in his chest looked hard as steel.

"Don't you dare fucking start Elena". He growled in anger at my sweet smile. I giggled and took the rubber band out of my long brown hair, letting it flow gracefully around my shoulders. I shook it a little bit and raised my eyes to Damon. He now looked less mad but more aroused if anything. I sauntered up to him and ran my fingers on steel hard chest. A noise came out of him, as if he was choking on air escaped his mouth. I ran my hands over his sweet biceps and smirked at the noises escaping him. His jaw was now slack and his hands gripped my hips as I ran my tongue over his neck. He moaned and whispered something about Jacob still being in the room but I rolled my hips against his and the thought seemed to escape him. As I finished a long lick on his neck, I gently bit his earlobe, reveling in his groans and whispered, "Just because you weren't around anymore, didn't mean I became the angel you always thought I was Damon" .

I was obviously lying but we weren't going to tell him that. The rational part of me was surprised at my instincts and confused as to why I was doing this. Well brain, if I can't insult him out of my apartment, I might as well seduce him out.

He growled and pushed me off of him, I laughed at his hot and bothered expression and he shot me a dirty look. I pouted my lips in feigned sympathy, making my innocent expression.

"What? Just because you weren't here to ground me, meant I couldn't have some sex of my own? Get real Damon! You're the one who introduced me to it, you should be blaming yourself" I flirted while running my hands through my hair. Damon shivered and quickly regained himself.

"Yeah I did introduce you to it, I was the best teacher you ever had sweet heart. And if I recall, it was you who said that I 'ruined you for all other men', so let's not get ahead of ourselves." He smirked in content.

A part of me felt oddly nostalgic at our banter. We used to do this as foreplay back in the good old days. Fighting usually worked like a charm, but trying to one up each other used to drive us crazy. At my distracted musings, I quickly bit back.

"Hmm yeah I do remember saying that. Of course that was before you started to finish before actual sexual contact. How did I do that again? Oh yeah, I it was just by you rubbing my ass and me massaging your shoulders. So before we act macho, let's remember that by the end I was the one having more stamina."

The comment obviously affect him, he groaned and rubbed his eyes in embarrassment. I laughed at his obvious discomfort. It was a low blow, I had to admit. But my god, it always did the trick.

"Oh did I forget to mention the time where we didn't even get your pants off before you-"

"Stop it. Just stop right there. It was one time, we hadn't done it in awhile. Oh and the time before that was understandable, even you have to admit. It was right when we got together; we were still adjusting to the reactions we got out of each other. If I remember, I didn't hear any complaints from you. I rocked your world"

"Oh I wouldn't say that." I played along, missing these moments between us. I started inching closer to him and he started tensing up. Sensing I was onto something, which I was.

"The marks on my back say otherwise princess" He said as I now was standing directly in front of him. I lowered my gaze on to his lips and ran my hands through his hair. He made a sound similar to a purr and I genuinely smiled at the sound. I miss hearing that contented purr. Damon used to call me his little kitten, but now I realize that I really should've been calling him that.

I mentally shook my head, back to the point Elena. Get him out, seduce him out. If that is possible, which it must be, because if not I will find a way.

"Just admit it Damon, you miss me like this." I whispered in his ear, running my hands up and down his chest. He started breathing heavily as I licked the contours of his earlobe. Reveling in the shivers that I evoked through him. He gripped me and pulled me up against him, as I kissed his neck like before.

"All bitchy and snarky, it gets you hard doesn't it?" I whispered sensually as he let out a moan. I moved back a ways and started shimmying my tight yoga pants down. Jake was now fast asleep on our bed, safely protected by pillows. I ran my hands down to his abs as his hands now felt hot on my skin. His fingernails dug into now underwear clad hips. He moaned when I started rubbing his lower abdomen and his hands now traveled down to the bare cheeks of my ass not covered due to the thong I was wearing. He groped my bottom with his soft hands and groaned in my ear of how much he missed this.

"I know you do, don't you baby? You haven't gotten any since the last time I slept with you, am I right?" I said breathlessly into his ear. I felt him moan a yes, and I snickered at the realization. That must be why he's fully hard right now.

"Oh that must mean you must miss me a lot Damon? Does it hurt Damon? Does it hurt knowing you haven't fucked me in over four months?" I said into his ear, as I gently started moving my hand down to his jean covered crotch. He moaned at the contact, obviously affected by the absence of my touch.

"God yes Lena, I feel it every day. Oh god please baby" As he practically begged for more of my touch. I let out a moan and decided it was now time to torture him a little bit. I roughly massaged his hard package and I myself let out a pained moan.

"Oh Damon I missed us too, like this. I missed everything about this" I squeezed his member and he groaned resting his head now in my shoulder. He braced his arms on the wall on either side of my head. He started gently thrusting into my touch now. "I missed the feel of it, in my hand, in my mouth, inside of me".

"Elena please, I can't take much more." He pleaded as his thrusts grew more desperate, knowing he wasn't going to get what he wanted with anymore of this.

"But guess what Damon? It never hurt for me like it obviously does for you" I finished as I gently moved my hand that was caressing his package to my center. He let out a moan at the feeling of my warmth against his eager hand, trying to feel more of it.

"Does it hurt Damon? Knowing that you'll never feel this again?" I whispered as he let out a pained groan. I moved his hand to my breast. He started panting and I grew worried for his lungs at the amount of air he was releasing just by touching me. He groaned again in pain, placed a light kiss on my cheek that was too fast for me to dodge.

"Please Elena, don't do this. Please don't do this to me." He begged in obvious turmoil at my torture. I decided to slide the knife in further.

"Feel me all you want Damon. It's the last time it will ever happen." I whispered, starting to feel the pleasure I missed in his touch. His moan of pain seemed to spur him on as he started placing kisses down my neck, inching towards me cleavage. He thrust his erection against my underwear clad center and I moaned at the forgotten pleasure. Uh-oh the seducing is back firing Elena. Get him out fast before you forget what you were doing in the first place.

He thrust against me again and I moan at the feeling of his hard erection digging into my center. All I'd have to do was pull some material to the side and fling myself back into euphoria. But I had to remember my purpose. He started kneaded my bare ass again as I leaned up into his ear.

"You feel almost as good as _**he**_ did" sucking in a breath, knowing what was coming now. You could've heard a pin drop. Our frenzied coupling had now froze, and he sucked his breath in. I know what I was saying was going to kill him, but what was I supposed to do? This is just an example of the power I held over him, and how much I didn't want to responsible for it anymore. I didn't even know what I was feeling now. One minute I feel sympathy and longing for the man who swept me off my feet so many years ago. The next, I'm torturing him and trying to get him out of my life, when my heart is telling me to cling on to him.

He growled my name and pushed himself off of me. Walking to the other side of the room and bracing his hands on the window sill. Breathing heavily, as he started whispering expletatives. I almost felt bad at the state I left him in, but that was part of the torture.

When he finally regained himself, he took a breath and turned around to face me. The light was now gone from his eyes as he started pacing his way to me again. I found myself backing myself into the wall, cowering in fear over what seduction he would now use to his revenge. But my predictions were proven wrong when he stopped a few inches away from me and smirked in an evil way.

"You know I had a two-timing bitch of a girlfriend and it got pretty old, Katherine." He smirked at the irony of his sentence.

I instantly froze, my insides turned to ice at the name. My body quivered in rage at the sound of that disgusting, slutty ass bitch's name. I fucking hated Katherine Pierce, and he knew that. He knew how much we BOTH hated her, but his comparison, it was enough to make me want to kill him. I pushed myself off the wall as tears started to form into my eyes. How dare he compare me to her? I could kick that bitch's ass the next time I'd see her, and he knew that. He knew how much I fucking hated her, how much the sound of her name gives me nausea. I quickly swiped my tears away and gave him a look of pure hatred. He smirked at my obvious pain; oh he must be really mad at me this time. He's never taken pleasure from my pain, in times where I deserved it. I guess you could take now as an example.

"You can get the fuck out of my house Damon" I said as cruel as I could muster. The anger in me was swirling like lava in my veins and it was times like these where I longed for a smoke.

"Last time I checked it was technically my house, but sure whatever." He smiled as he started making his way back to the front door.

"Well I guess going to go have a wank with the situation you left me in Kitty Kat." He smiled again as my eyes were now burning in fury. I'm going to rip him a new asshole for this. Combining his older fucking pet name for me and his old bitch of a girlfriend? Unforgiveable.

"Go ahead, when you're down whacking yourself off, can you get me a new pack? I may decide to take it up again." I challenged him as he started chuckling, reading right through my façade.

"Oh kitten, do that and I'll spank that beautiful ass of yours into next week. And believe me, I'll enjoy it." He finished with a shit eating grin and wink as he kissed our son on the head and made his way out. He is so proud of himself, isn't he? I gritted my teeth and stomped my foot in frustration.

"I'm never speaking to you again! Do you hear me Damon? Consider me out of your life for good!" I screamed, hoping the neighbors wouldn't hear. Whatever, they've heard worse kind of screams from us.

"I love you more than anything kitten!" He yelled as he slammed the door shut.


End file.
